This article discusses the pros and cons of social networking sites for people with Asperger Syndrome: http://www.aspergersboardingschools.com/networking.html For the most part I agree with this but I would like to add my 2 cents. Facebook is a tool like fire, which can warm a home or burn it down. Facebook, for example, is an excellent way to connect with people and open up doors. It is also a tool that can be used to help us get jobs or even raise awareness to important causes. It does on the other hand, have a learning curve and is full of unwritten rules (which Autistic people can have a hard time with). It is very easy to put one's foot in their mouth on Facebook and for those who don't know the ropes, a single faux-pas can ruin a person's life in irreversible ways. On top of that it only takes a few seconds of lapsed social judgment to make such a faux-pas. Always remember the "www" in Internet addresses. The "World Wide Web" is just that, world wide.
Now I would like to presume intellect here and give those on the spectrum credit here. Autistic people are not necessarily naive and are capable of learning the more obvious unwritten rules such as: Not giving out personal information; remembering that what you post can be viewed by both peers, employers, as well as nosy, judgmental relatives; knowing that posts about religion or politics can be playing with fire (even if you think everyone on your friends list agrees with you), the importance of managing your privacy settings, not to gossip, not to post racy photos of oneself, not to complain about your job, not to brag about a fun party one attended at a time they called off work "sick"... There are other factors here that are more elusive. People need to remember than when typing on the net to people you are both close to or not very close to, it is easy to take things out of context. One needs to be able to picture how what they are posting will look on someone Else's Facebook. It is harder to know a person's tone when you can't hear each other's voice. This makes things like punctuation and clarity very important. Joking and sarcasm can come off in strange ways to another person. Also if one does want to make a strong political statement that most people agree with and seems safe, it is still important to make it clear which side your on and not assume that people will give the benefit of the doubt. When posting a link to a strong/emotional topic (I almost learned this the hard way.) it is important to put something in the description indicating which side your on. There are few things worse than being alienated from people who share your values simply because you made a statement that came off to them as the total opposite. Yes one can edit a post but once people read it, take it the wrong way, and block you, it may be impossible to clarify something or take it back. Another thing to be mindful of is if one is visiting a site about something personal- lets say constipation, it can be easy (esp. on a mobile device) to accidentally click the like button and have everyone know what you are reading. Knowing which friends to accept is also a gray area. Many times there are people we don't want to say no to but we have reservations. There are now ways to accept people in a restricted way. I know I'm hardly a snob or a judgmental person, but I also know that "guilt by association" can be brutal on Facebook and many times, unfair. We also may want to restrict posts from friends who may post something on our walls we don't want others to see. One may not care about a friend posting about their "adventures" at some party they went to but we might not want our grandparents or employers to know we are "hanging out" with such characters even if that person is just a very casual acquaintance who we never met. Another thing is that just because one's peers are saying all kinds of stupid things on their public wall and everyone finds it amusing doesn't mean that others should get too comfortable and let their guard down. It is important for teens on the Autistic spectrum to accept early on that there are a lot of crazy things that other people tend to get away with and of they said or did the same thing, it would be considered a "behavior" and might not be forgiven. There are also many technological faux-pas that anyone can make. If one is not familiar with the site and let's say they want to send a cute, romantic message to a special someone, but because they weren't careful they end up sending it to their entire friends list including same-sex acquaintances who happen to be heterosexual. That might be hilarious in a comedy movie but could be devastating in real life.
It is also important to not overanalyze things on social networking sites. The fast pace can be overwhelming for anyone. One has to remember that a refused friend request or lack of a response could have many reasons sometimes as simple as the person in question rarely goes online. It is also good to remember when one sees something strange that others may have made a faux-pas also- perhaps they sent a message to the wrong person.
I don't say any of this to discourage people from allowing Autistic teens online or thinking that they need be be babysat. I also don't want to encourage shyness or social anxiety. I'm just trying to help people avoid potential problems by pointing out -some- of the unwritten rules (or at least share the ones that I'm aware of).
Now I would like to presume intellect here and give those on the spectrum credit here. Autistic people are not necessarily naive and are capable of learning the more obvious unwritten rules such as: Not giving out personal information; remembering that what you post can be viewed by both peers, employers, as well as nosy, judgmental relatives; knowing that posts about religion or politics can be playing with fire (even if you think everyone on your friends list agrees with you), the importance of managing your privacy settings, not to gossip, not to post racy photos of oneself, not to complain about your job, not to brag about a fun party one attended at a time they called off work "sick"... There are other factors here that are more elusive. People need to remember than when typing on the net to people you are both close to or not very close to, it is easy to take things out of context. One needs to be able to picture how what they are posting will look on someone Else's Facebook. It is harder to know a person's tone when you can't hear each other's voice. This makes things like punctuation and clarity very important. Joking and sarcasm can come off in strange ways to another person. Also if one does want to make a strong political statement that most people agree with and seems safe, it is still important to make it clear which side your on and not assume that people will give the benefit of the doubt. When posting a link to a strong/emotional topic (I almost learned this the hard way.) it is important to put something in the description indicating which side your on. There are few things worse than being alienated from people who share your values simply because you made a statement that came off to them as the total opposite. Yes one can edit a post but once people read it, take it the wrong way, and block you, it may be impossible to clarify something or take it back. Another thing to be mindful of is if one is visiting a site about something personal- lets say constipation, it can be easy (esp. on a mobile device) to accidentally click the like button and have everyone know what you are reading. Knowing which friends to accept is also a gray area. Many times there are people we don't want to say no to but we have reservations. There are now ways to accept people in a restricted way. I know I'm hardly a snob or a judgmental person, but I also know that "guilt by association" can be brutal on Facebook and many times, unfair. We also may want to restrict posts from friends who may post something on our walls we don't want others to see. One may not care about a friend posting about their "adventures" at some party they went to but we might not want our grandparents or employers to know we are "hanging out" with such characters even if that person is just a very casual acquaintance who we never met. Another thing is that just because one's peers are saying all kinds of stupid things on their public wall and everyone finds it amusing doesn't mean that others should get too comfortable and let their guard down. It is important for teens on the Autistic spectrum to accept early on that there are a lot of crazy things that other people tend to get away with and of they said or did the same thing, it would be considered a "behavior" and might not be forgiven. There are also many technological faux-pas that anyone can make. If one is not familiar with the site and let's say they want to send a cute, romantic message to a special someone, but because they weren't careful they end up sending it to their entire friends list including same-sex acquaintances who happen to be heterosexual. That might be hilarious in a comedy movie but could be devastating in real life.
It is also important to not overanalyze things on social networking sites. The fast pace can be overwhelming for anyone. One has to remember that a refused friend request or lack of a response could have many reasons sometimes as simple as the person in question rarely goes online. It is also good to remember when one sees something strange that others may have made a faux-pas also- perhaps they sent a message to the wrong person.
I don't say any of this to discourage people from allowing Autistic teens online or thinking that they need be be babysat. I also don't want to encourage shyness or social anxiety. I'm just trying to help people avoid potential problems by pointing out -some- of the unwritten rules (or at least share the ones that I'm aware of).
